When I saw the pictures on Facebook commemorating the woman who sewed tiny teddy bears for her pet mouse, I knew I could take on this topic.

You know. Mice.

I’ve never sewed teddy bears for a pet mouse. Here’s why: I don’t sew and I don’t keep pet mice.

I trap them.

That’s the hard line, I know, but I have my reasons.

Beyond mice seeds in the pantry, I mean.

Reason #1: There was once a mouse drunk on warfarin. He climbed the drapery in my living room, tottered across the top of the rod, and continued on when the rod ended. He fell to the carpet, staggered to his feet, and then toppled to one side.

I expected to see four legs in the air and X’s in each eye.

Not the sort of memory that makes a pet mouse look cuddly.

Reason #2: When my family moved to our current rural location, we had to carve our homestead into an alfalfa field. We put up a new garage and house.

We hadn’t factored in field mice.

So our older son would jump into his little pickup to go to school only to watch mice climbing up the gear shift and out of the glove box.

Think Birds, only four-legged.

Not cute.

Reason #3: The annual influx of mice from the nearby fields once the weather turns bad keeps our cat busy – and crumpled mouse bodies laid outside our bedroom doors. Gifts, I guess.

So, when I see a mouse darting across the far corner of the utility room, the one thing I don’t think of is “sew that buddy a teddy bear.”