I’m not having a contest. 

But I will need some name ideas for my iPhone because I’m thinking I need to write a book tentatively entitled, The Secret Life of My iPhone, which sounds pretty bland. Even Walter Mitty sounded better, but I don’t think he had an iPhone.

The thing is, my phone has a secret life, slipping around behind my back. 

Well, not exactly behind my back.

Who’d Figure?

I recently heard a voice coming from my pocket. I’m a little dense about talking pockets and it took me a minute to dig out my phone. The voice was my younger son.

“Mom? Mom? Are you okay?”

By the time I got the phone out, he sounded worried. We have a texting relationship, so he always answers when I call because he assumes those are emergencies. 

Here he was, talking to the lint in my pocket because my iPhone (as yet unnamed, but we’re working on that, right?) called him. He’s thinking broken bones and I’m thinking my pocket had developed a deep voice.

Not His Fault

On another day, I had taken my grandson disc golfing. We had a great time flinging discs and then his mom texted us. 

I’m guessing Joel has your phone…

 Here’s what was on my iPhone screen:

All this with my phone tucked in my pocket.

Joel was innocent, since I knew he was playing disc golf with me. My phone, however, seemed to be fine implicating a blameless ten-year-old.

I can’t do a text message like that, but my iPhone managed it in the dark regions of my pocket. 🥴

Hung Up On

I once FaceTimed my sister from inside my pocket. Her view was pretty limited, and she hung up on me. Well, on my iPhone. 

My phone dumped that rejection on me later. I could almost see tears in its eye. You think an Apple product doesn’t have an I? 

The phone has called other random people on my contact list. I’m now glad I don’t know anyone in Germany or India. Imagine those bills while iPhones chatted about the weather across time zones.

I’ve decided I don’t give my phone enough attention. These are cries for more relationship with me instead of the inside of my pocket.

Just to add some companionship, I dropped in a car key one day to see if that helped.

It didn’t.

Clearly a Name is Necessary

So I need name ideas. Email me your ideas or you can leave a comment here.

And if you don’t help me out, you might someday get a random call from an unnamed iPhone and you’ll wish you had.