When you think of the sounds of Christmas, you may think of the gentle guitar tones of “Silent Night” or the wistful notes of “Silver Bells.”

I have young kids rushing through my house regularly so I get to hear other sounds. Like Big Mouth Billy Bass, for example.

I had hoped yet again this Christmas to find out how rich Christmas could be without this rubber fish flopping on a wooden plaque while emitting holiday songs.

It was not meant to be.

The Ghost of Christmas Gifts Past

A seven-year-old boy uncovered Big Mouth Billy Bass in a box of hidden Christmas ornaments. You haven’t lived ’til you have seen a fake fish sing “Jingle Bells” with his tail flipping in time. Punctuated by “YeeHaw.” I blame my sister for Billy being in my garage.

The seven-year-old wanted to know how Billy worked and why I didn’t have this fish mounted front and center already.

The Fatal Mistake

One of my character flaws is not being able to think of a misdirection quickly enough.

I told him Billy was a nuisance. That didn’t deter him.  I said it was goofy. He didn’t care. So I added, “It doesn’t work because it needs batteries.”

I know, I know. That was not a smart answer. But this thing was so old that I assumed I didn’t have the right batteries in the house.

The Encore

I was wrong. He found four fresh C batteries in the back of the junk drawer. 

Billy Bass rejoined the world of the living.

When it comes to Christmas animals, one time is never enough. Kids push the red button so Billy sings over and over and over until the adults smash the gadget to smithereens. Theoretically.

Christmas is always a memorable time of the year. Especially with children around.

And especially when you have batteries.