by Kathy Brasby | Nov 8, 2012 | Personal
As I have shared recently, my mother suffered a massive stroke in October and is working hard now to rehabilitate herself.
I’m one of her cheerleaders and have focused most of my time and attention on her recovery. But once in a while I surface long enough to recognize that this experience is changing me.
Here are a few ways:
- Our journey through life does not get easier as we age. But, thank God, we have more tools to deal with the difficulties. My mother perseveres in her therapy sessions. Did she have this grit at 21? Certainly the embryo was there but the woman of courage has emerged. Our bodies fade but our integrity and willpower grow. Or they should.
- In crisis, I need to prioritize. What’s important for my family? What’s important to the plan God has shown me? Burn away the fluff and get to the steel.
- Many things that once demanded my time now has little strength over me. I’m learning to recognize value and appreciate intimacy over urgency.
- Teamwork tempers independence. Can I move forward alone? No, and the joy of allowing others to walk beside me invigorates my day. I am not alone in this journey. Not only does God go with me, he sends a team to lift my feet.
I am bruised watching my mother battle this stroke but I am inspired by her power. She presses on when the temptation to quit whispers to her. I am learning to respect her endurance and consider how it is being cultivated me.
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by Kathy Brasby | Nov 5, 2012 | Personal
In the last few months, my family has learned techniques akin to military maneuvers in trying to survive the election campaigning.
Here are some of our responses:
- If we answer our phone, the other party had better talk within two seconds or we’ll disconnect. I hung up on my brother twice one afternoon because he was composing a cute reply instead of just saying hello.
- After we discovered that our answering machine shut down at 20 messages (all of them campaign calls), we wiped the slate clean. When it was bogged down again only two days later, we let it ride. Now callers are simply informed there’s no room for them. It works for us.
- Someone in the family (and I will not identify this person except to say it is not me) takes all the automated digital surveys using different demographics each time. Remember that when you rely on poll numbers.
- We go through our mail standing by the trash can. You could re-side your house with all the glossy political postcards we’ve tossed.
- We voted early, hoping the calls and mailing would stop. That didn’t work out for us but we’re coming together as a family singing “lalalalala” during TV political ads.
- We choose to inform ourselves, reading speeches and position papers, listening to issues important to us and ignoring crazy rhetoric. There are, for example, some issues that breathless ads try to stir emotions about that have nothing to do with the candidate’s responsibilities.
We’ll survive but hope someone notices that an awful lot of campaign dollars were wasted on us.
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by Kathy Brasby | Oct 31, 2012 | Personal
What have I learned so far this week? That’s a very important question for me, because I believe a successful day is one where I have learned at least one new thing.
Here’s a partial list of my week:
- I’ve learned the devastation of a hurricane crashing into a nor’easter. Not first hand but I’ve followed the adventures of those on the East Coast and am impressed, as always, at the courage and resilience of many people. A friend of mine who lives in Sandy’s crash zone wrote on Facebook today that her family was fine. The neighbors’ huge oak tree fell, taking out her fence and power line while splitting her shed. But she was thankful for hot water, a gas grill, and a phone that worked. She asked for prayers for those who really had problems.
- I’ve learned about Tune Up, an app which lets me clean up the songs in my playlists. Too many of my mp3 files have lost the connection between title and cover art. No more. Cleaned up the music nicely.
- I’ve learned new medical terminology due to my mother’s stroke. I’m not very medical, but I now understand the difference between acute and sub-acute therapy. But don’t quiz me on it. I don’t think I’m too sharp yet.
- I’ve learned why Peyton Manning was a good choice for the Denver Broncos. He may be topping John Elway’s legend. We’ve been privileged in Colorado to watch two first-ballot Hall of Fame quarterbacks play for the Broncos.
- I learned that a governor could change the date for Halloween. Chris Christie signed an executive order in New Jersey for that purpose. I understand it. I just didn’t know a governor could do that. Will the goblins take notice?
After every activity we do, my poor children have to ride home with their mother who asks, “So, what did you learn today?” They haven’t lynched me yet so I’ll ask you the same. What have you learned today?
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by Kathy Brasby | Oct 26, 2012 | Personal
Chaos wrapped its stubborn tendrils around my ankles and brought me stumbling to my knees last week.
My mother, vibrant and energetic at 83, crashed to the floor with a stroke and now we wait. We sit beside her hospital bed, counting her breaths, charting every twitch of her toes.
Hopeful. Fearful. Will she survive this attack on her brain and her body? How well can her body heal?
And what have we lost?
Chaos swirls like a dripping fog, drenching us with plans draining away.
But I haven’t asked why. Once I would have shook my fist at heaven demanding to know how this unfairness could descend onto my family.
But no more. The old urge to control my world, to conform all plans to mine, is gone. I am no god. I’m weak. I’d be fickle with fairness, my vision limited by selfishness and ignorance.
So we walk not by my willpower but by faith, knowing that there is One who is not selfish or ignorant. He knows what I cannot discern and he lifts my yoke with his strength.
We walk step by step doing the next thing although we’d love to know where the end of the journey lies and when the path twists.
The tragedy cannot penetrate our hearts or steal our peace because we do not walk alone. There’s the meaning in this cold chaos.
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by Kathy Brasby | Sep 21, 2012 | Personal
As a writer, I don’t waste any new emotion that surfaces inside of me. I probe and consider. So lately I’ve been exploring the fringes of regret.
To be honest, I didn’t expect this one. My father died recently at age 90 and we all knew he was fading. I was determined in his last years to have no regrets. I spent extra time visiting, going to gatherings and birthday parties. He got extra hugs (he wasn’t a huggy kind of guy but he seemed to like them in his later years) and I had a chance to thank him for his input into my life.
I didn’t want to have regrets. And I don’t regret any of those things.
But as I journey through the pain of his loss, I find unexpected regrets. Regret that he won’t ever finish the engine project in the garage. Regret that he’ll never again stand in his corn field, shovel in hand. Regret that he won’t see his youngest grandchildren get married.
Regrets for what he will never do now.
That regret strikes me when I least expect it, with a sharp jab that makes me draw a long breath.
I know he’s in a better place. He held to his faith when everything else slipped away. He was anxious to go home. And it helps me to imagine him with young legs, a strong back, a mind that once again can solve a broken object.
But I want to seize the new insights for my own life. What do I want to do before it’s my turn to join him before our Lord?
I have a few things on my mind and they’re rising to the top of my priority list. We’ll always have regrets but I’m planning to reduce the list. My sister and I often joke that we rush in where angels fear to tread. I’m thinking it’s time to ramp that up a bit.
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by Kathy Brasby | Aug 7, 2012 | Personal
I am a writer, a photographer, a videographer, a teacher and much more. I am very curious and I love to learn. This blog will contain snippets of what I’m learning and also my thoughts on what I read and see.
As a writer, my goal is to discover meaning in chaos. We live in a jumbled world. Many opinions blast us moment by moment. Colors, images, noises, smells – we are in sensory overload as well.
But there is meaning to be found. I’m confident of that.
The current plan for me is to post three times a week, on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays. Join me on this journey of discovery.
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