Don’t say butterball

Summer softball games in the cool of the evening provided the best gathering place for a small town with limited entertainment choices. You could watch TV summer reruns, hang out at the local bar or take in the games.

So we gathered in the wooden bleachers to watch the neighbors play ball.

This was serious stuff. Once, a young farmer broke his ankle sliding into second and a new mom nearly had surgery on her hand after she absorbed a swinging bat on her catcher’s glove.

This might be a small town ball but competitiveness doesn’t run small. Players came to win and the fans came to watch them win. This was serious fun.

So one evening we sat in the stands for a tightly-contested battle with spectacular plays. The shortstop fired a hotshot to first that beat the runner by milliseconds. Or at least that’s the way the umpire saw that one. A batter put the ball over the center fielder’s head for a big base-clearing hit.

The score teetered back and forth. The crowd hung on every pitch.

There usually wasn’t an abundance of ballplayers so right field was often reserved for that ninth player who needed a little more seasoning.

My team had a right fielder of the needed-seasoning variety. He was shaped like a fire hydrant but he crouched with his glove in place like he was ready for any hit. We all knew that he appeared prepared but he was as quick as a fire hydrant, too.

The gal sitting next to me leaned over. “He looks just like a butterball.”

“Shush,” I said. “His wife is sitting right down there.” I nodded toward a blonde sitting a row below us and to the right.

“Oops.” Jill lowered her voice. “She’s interviewing me tomorrow.” We both knew in a small town that we were all known including our voices. No hiding behind anonymity.

Then the tight game took my attention away. We were in the ninth. Bases were loaded and tension high. The pitcher leaned in and then swung his arm in an arc, delivering a sizzling strike that the batter turned on too late. The bat cracked as the ball skied into right field.

Jill didn’t hesitate. Leaping into the air, she put her hands around her mouth like a megaphone and shouted out to our right fielder: “Go get that hit, Butterball!”

We didn’t get the win that night. And Jill didn’t get the job, either.

Writing on the cloud

My first computer was an Apple II and I sprung for the newest innovation: two disk drives. In those days, there were no hard drives and, in a sense, saving data was simpler.

Your program was one disk and the data on the second. It was easy to save a file to yet a third data disk because we all understood that a document stored on a sheet of plastic was less secure than one saved in a file folder beside one’s desk.

Saving documents has not gotten easier with the addition of hard drives and flash drives. They can fail, too, and we’re forced to do multiple backups to secure valuable files.

Backups have gotten easier now that many of us use multiple devices to write. I am writing this post on an iMac but could be composing on my laptop instead. Or even my smartphone.  I’m writing in Evernote, which means this document will be synchronized to the Evernote site on the internet so that I can read it on my desktop, my laptop or my smartphone.

Even if my hard drive crashes, this document is secure.

There are a number of synchronization programs available which, although they are designed to allow me to access documents from different devices, also archive the files on the internet as well.

I’ve discussed some of them before in this post but let me review them:

Evernote – I can set up any number of notebooks (think folders) and then place notes within the notebook. Not only does Evernote contain my own writings, but I can clip articles on the internet and save them in Evernote. I can even forward emails with pertinent information to Evernote. This is a nice synchronization tool and one which also backs up my information on the internet. I can access it there from any computer simply by signing in to my account.

Dropbox – Dropbox appears in a folder on my desktop and I save files to the sub-folders. I can check out those folders from any device that’s signed into my Dropbox account.

Sugar Synch – similar to Dropbox and I haven’t used it as much but it also allows synchronization and access from many devices.

Google Drive – this is a new player and an interesting one, since Google Drive accesses Google docs if you have a Google account. Not only can you store documents, you can create them through Google Drive.  Google offers word processing and a spreadsheet as well as email address. Google Drive, when installed on my desktop, looks just like a another storage unit.

There are more of these but the key is to consider both synchronization and backup. The synchronization across devices only works when the device can access the internet but that gets easier and easier as wi-fi is more common at many businesses.

Do you use a synchronization program? Have you written on the cloud?

Why I quit talking to answering machines

To understand this story, you need to know about July heat in northeast Colorado, when the temperatures would melt dashboards and western skies flexed purple and green while threatening hail.

 I worked at a farm implement dealership that year, in the middle of thousands of acres of pickups, apple pie, and shimmering wheat. In July, the wheat ripened to a golden color that rippled like ocean waves in the heat. When the wheat was ripe, the frenzy began.

 Farmers had waited since August of the previous year for the seeds to sprout, grow and ripen. But July thunderstorms were common, meaning that a single evening of wind and hail could wipe out the year’s crop. The wheat had to be harvested now.

Against that backdrop, the fellow employees where I worked knew that harvest meant long hours for us, too. We had to be at the shop if a combine or truck broke down. The farmers depended on our inventory of parts and our experienced mechanics.

But sometimes nothing broke down. We sat in the hot evenings like a teenage girl hoping for an invitation to the dance. Waiting opened the door to shenanigans involving  water fights, high-powered squirt guns and factions.

The problem with answering machines began with my primary responsibility: ordering parts. One of my suppliers used an answering machine to receive orders in those days. I would call and listen to a long description of  how to place the order followed by a beep. After the beep, the answering machine recorded my order.

I had the information memorized so I had time to daydream before I placed an order.  On such a day, I stood beside my desk, phone in hand, ignoring the instructions.

Then I saw one of my fellow employees creep out of the back shop, knees bent, head swiveling from side to side like a deer hunter on the prowl. No big deal in the July heat except for one problem: the plastic squirt gun he gripped in his hand was mine.

“Hey!” I shouted at him. “You give me back my gun!” And then I realized that the answering machine had beeped.

I didn’t place an order that day.

And the next time I called, I asked for a salesman instead. Well, yeah, I changed my voice, too. Just in case.

Which character?

Thanks to a couple of star-gliding teenagers, our family has been lured into watching the most current Doctor Who television series from BBC.

 Doctor Who is a science fiction series, continuing on and off since the 1960’s, about a Time Lord who is able to cross time and space to rescue people from a wide range of villains. The story lines range from creative to bizarre but the creators of the series included a helpful wrinkle with the Doctor. He occasionally dies in action and then renews himself in a new body.

This new body is really a new person, with a new personality and mannerisms and interests. The favorite food of one Doctor may be disgusting to the next, for example. Favored clothing and even goals change with the new Doctor.

The idea is brilliant because, from a practical point of view, it allows the series producers to glide from one actor to another without a glitch.  New actor, new Doctor, new personality. All’s well as long as the Daleks show up at least once a season.

Fiction writers don’t have this privilege. I’m tired of reading novels in which the main character can’t decide who he or she really is. We might start out with a strong-willed female who is willing to take risks and challenge the status quo. A 100 pages later, she’s cowering behind her new boyfriend, afraid to enter the dark room and screaming at cobwebs.

I know strong-willed women. They don’t change like that.

Or the story opens with the wise-cracking hero who confidently follows his hunches. By the midway point in the story, he hasn’t had a hunch in several chapters and is suddenly afraid of his father. Or boss. Or neighbor.

What’s with introducing traits that evaporate?

A memorable character carries a story. Authors need to trust that fact and craft characters so vivid that we allow them to carry the story rather than allowing the story to craft them.

Only Doctor Who can turn from a handsome heart-throb to a stumbling nerd and we’re OK with it.

An easy writer’s tool

A smartphone is a gift to writers and here’s another reason why.

We had just finished a guitar-led round of folk songs for the local nursing home when Mary turned to me. “Remember the old cassette tape recorders? That sure would be helpful when we learn new songs. We could listen to them over and over.”

I pulled my phone out of my pocket. “I always have a recorder with me.”

She stared at it. “I have a phone like that.”

“Then you don’t need a tape recorder.”

It’s easy to forget the tools we already carry with us. Not all writers use smartphones – and a few refuse to carry a cell phone. But most of us carry our cell phone all the time. And if you do, check out the voice recorder on your phone.

My iPhone 4s will transcribe messages as I speak into the microphone. I have collected story and article ideas while on a walk, allowing the phone to write down what I’m thinking. It will convert spoken words into text messages or grocery lists.

Obviously, I can record interviews for articles. Once at a workshop, the speaker announced he would do a special poetic reading. Although I didn’t record the entire workshop, I did record his poem. And I’m glad I did, for he did an eloquent interpretation.

There is a bit of a learning curve but it’s worth experimenting with the feature. Very few of us carry a cassette tape recorder with us all the time but most of us have a cell phone.

Have you checked into your cell phone’s features? Do you have favorites?