Today you can copy text, plug into an online translator, and have yourself a nifty set of words that might or might not make the slightest sense.
Clockwise Trail Access (Photo credit: MTSOfan)
For example, I heard one of a translation of the common idiom: “Out of sight, out of mind” translated to : “Invisible, insane.”
Maybe…
I recently purchased a personal PA system for speaking engagements. It’s one of those gadgets with a wired microphone attached to a small amplifier that you can hang from your belt. I used it last week for a group activity and it worked pretty slick.
But the one-sheet instruction guide must have come from Jupiter because of some of these statements:
“Features: Lithium battery, long battery life. Loud-speaker works pretty good.” (Since that’s what a PA system is for, I was glad to know that.)
“To extend the battery life, please charge after the battery is use out.” (I assume “use out” should be “used up” but what’s a preposition among friends?)
“You can adjust the length of waistband, as shown below.” (Below is the bottom of the page. Flipping the page reveals how to adjust the microphone.)
“Attentions before wearing the ear-hanging microphone: Before wearing, please don’t turn on the power and volume.” (The ear-hanging microphone might be better called a single-ear microphone but I can adjust. I’m still trying to understand the why of the second instruction.)
“Don’t change the battery by yourself under warranty. Be sure that the pole is right when the change the battery.” (To change, not to change… well, it’s only a $35 gadget so I probably won’t worry about the pole.)
“Turn the volume button clockwise or anticlockwise can increase or decrease the volume.” (Anticlockwise?)
“Decrease the volume to avoid noises.” (But I want volume. That’s why I bought the unit. Maybe my voice is a noise….)
“Cut in and pull out the plug often may cause the disbad connection between microphone and amplifier.” (And we don’t want a disbad connection.)
I’m a reader and I’m a writer so I read these instructions once, curbed the urge to re-write them, and saved them long enough for this post.
However, I think these instructions fall under the “invisible, insane” category.
I’m not a big fan of car commercials because I really don’t think the right car will give me peace, bring my family closer together, or define my sophistication index.
But I do like to tell car stories. Like this one.
We were filling our car at a little gas station in Omaha when we noticed a guy pushing his car up the driveway of the station. He was a skinny young guy but he handled his rig like he’d done this before.
He had a faded tank of a car that gulped gas and apparently had run dry somewhere nearby.
All the pumps were occupied so he guided his old vehicle to the curb and waited. Finally a spot cleared and he walked confidently to the front pumper, bent low, and heaved.
The car rolled like a lumbering ox to the open pump.
By this time, we were pretty sympathetic for this man who seemed to have had a touch of bad timing, running out of gas so close to the station. He settled his car by the pump like a mother tucking in her toddler and pulled out his wallet.
That pump allowed bills as well as credit card payments and so we watched as he tugged $5 out and slid it into the pump.
He pumped his gas – almost two gallons in those days – tightened the gas cap, and drove away. I knew then why he rolled his car with such confidence. He had done it before.
He reminded me of a guy we knew who wanted to borrow some money to buy gas.
Yeah, he’d gotten his paycheck but his pickup had two fuel tanks and the switch between the two tanks didn’t work. So he’d blown his week’s paycheck installing a new switch so that he had access to two fuel tanks rather than one.
Then he had no money for gas.
Could we help? We didn’t.
And then there was the gal who complained that she had to buy a radar detector. “And they’re expensive.”
“Why did you have to buy a radar detector?” I asked.
Her look made me wonder if I’d sprouted Martian antenna. “My tire has a slow leak.”
“Huh?”
“If I don’t speed, I can’t get home from WalMart before the tire goes flat. So I had to buy a radar detector.”
I checked to see if she had sprouted Martian antenna. I also wondered how a new tire compared to the cost of a radar detector.
For some people, their car defines their image. For others, their car just reveals it.
Last week we looked at recurring imagery in the Parable of the Wicked Tenant.
Today we’re revisiting the same parable. We’ll look at how context is important and how the author developed his ideas using the parable as part of a panorama of meaning.
The parable appears in Mark 12 but the previous chapter introduces us to an interesting theme. In Mark 11, we first see Jesus’ triumphant entry into Jerusalem at the start of the Passover. Choosing a colt such as a king might ride, he passed the crowds who shouted “Hosanna!” which means “Save us.” The crowds were hoping for a return to the kingdom of David.
David was the best king of Israel and, even a thousand years later, the Jews were waiting for a king to restore them.
So we see the theme of a king developing in Mark 11.
Then we have an interesting tale of Jesus cursing a fig tree for its lack of fruitfulness, then going to the Temple where he toppled tables and threw out the merchants, then passing the fig tree now withered at the roots.
Our author laminated the story of the fig tree with the clearing of the temple to help make his point: both were condemned for lack of fruitfulness. Jesus lamented that the Temple was supposed to be a house of prayer for the nations – a nurturing role – but instead had become a den of robbers.
Remember, too, for first century Jews, the Temple was where God lived. It was where God came to earth from heaven to dwell with his people. The Temple had great authority because of that.
Following the display in the Temple, Jesus was approached by the religious leaders who demand to know what authority Jesus had to do what he did in the Temple. Although Jesus first responded with a question of his own which revealed how they bowed to popular opinion, he then answered their question in the Parable of the Wicked Tenants.
Jesus laid out the situation around him: servants who didn’t acknowledge the generosity of the landowner and instead decided they wanted to own the vineyard himself.
In fact, the story that follows the parable has to do with paying taxes to Caesar – yet another authority issue.
Jesus answered the question of paying taxes with a classic response: “Give back to Caesar what is Caesar’s and to God what is God’s.”
That idea would also apply to his parable. The issue – based on the context of Mark 11-12 – has to do with authority. Who is king? Who is in charge?
Our author weaves several tales together to form a rich tapestry dealing with the question of authority. The religious leaders questioned Jesus’ authority to challenge the traditions of the Temple.
But Jesus, through the parable which is couched in several references to authority, turns the question around.
The religious leaders asked, “By what authority do you do these things?”
And Jesus seems to answer, “By what authority do you do these things?”
Words are my thing but sometimes they just escape me.
Like the guillotine story.
Our older son was 11 at the time. He and his younger sister, who was 6 at the time, were cooking up adventures all afternoon.
At that time, our family had 40 acres of grassland accented with a barn and a few rustic out buildings. Plenty of places for adventure.
So I had let them explore while I worked in the back yard. But when Younger Sister came through the yard carrying a big stick and a bread basket, I had to ask.
“What’s that for?”
“Oh!” She stopped and her face lit up with a big smile. “Nick says that you can see for three second after you get your head chopped off. So we’re going to find out.”
Words escaped me on that day.
Not long after that day, our younger son, at age 4, announced to me that he liked the color purple as long as it wasn’t pink.
Um. Words escaped me that time, too.
I write and I speak but not always when my kids were in full blossom.
