by Kathy Brasby | May 27, 2019 | Humor
We have a great Mexican restaurant in our town called El Jacal. I had to find out what the name meant because I don’t speak Spanish. What if I was ordering burritos in a place called The Sloth or The Dirty Laundry?
You see my point. I looked it up. It meant The Shack.
Much better than The Horse Hoof.
One day recently, I made arrangements to meet my nephew at El Jacal for lunch. Full of myself, I asked him if he knew what it meant.
“It means the mansion or something like that,” he said.
“No, it means the shack.”
“No, I’m pretty sure it doesn’t.”
He obviously needed enlightening. I asked, “Who told you it meant the mansion?”
“My buddy Jose,” he said. “Who told you?”
“Google Translate.” It stinks when you might be less right.
Photo by Kathy Brasby
Translating is a tricky business. Once a Chinese translator turned our American idiom, “out of sight, out of mind,” into “invisible, insane.”
That translation was handy when the kids were young. They knew the story about the Chinese translation so I thought I was being cute when I responded to their chaotic race through the house by calling out, “Be invisible, insane.” It was less helpful when they said they thought the last part described me.
A few years ago, I bought a small (cheap) PA system and dug out the instructions.
You’ll want to see these. And I did not make anything up:
- “Features: Lithium battery, long battery life. Loud-speaker works pretty good.”
- “To extend the battery life, please charge after the battery is use out.”
- “Attentions before wearing the ear-hanging microphone: Before wearing, please don’t turn on the power and volume.” I am still not making this up.
- “Don’t change the battery by yourself under warranty. Be sure that the pole is right when the change the battery.” (Why would I have to know how to change the battery if I’m not supposed to, under threat of voiding warranty?)
- “Turn the volume button clockwise or anticlockwise can increase or decrease the volume.”
- “Cut in and pull out the plug often may cause the disbad connection between microphone and amplifier.”
I kept the instructions long enough to copy these juicy phrases and then figured out the little PA system on my own.
My theory? These instructions were translated. Maybe by Google Translate.
In any case, I think they fall in the “invisible, insane” dustbin.
by Kathy Brasby | May 20, 2019 | Humor, Stories
As we get better acquainted, you’ll know things about me that my kids may someday pay you to keep to yourself. This is a great reason to keep track of me. Think of it as retirement planning. Just fill out that email signup over there and the money may well come flowing one day. No promises, though.
Don’t you, by the way, get annoyed with promises coming at you in the mail and on your phone and email? You know what I mean. I have gotten a garden catalog in the mail for years. Most of the catalogs have a big red sticker on the front: “Warning: this may be the last catalog you will receive unless you order.” Yeah, yeah, big promises. I’ve never ordered. I’d be OK if this were the last catalog but no such luck.
I don’t make promises like that. I promise.
I’ve had several jobs in my life, none related to the one before as far as I can tell. I’ve been a property manager for four years. Managing rental units provides endless story possibilities. That’s almost a good enough reason to keep managing.
As you can imagine, we occasionally have tenants who don’t pay their rent. This particular tenant not only got behind on his rent, but he had creative excuses. One month, he assured us that his check must have gotten stolen since we hadn’t received it.
In fact, the police had contacted him about the stolen check, and he was getting another one issued. We asked, could he send us a copy of the police report? No, since the police were in another state.
What, they hadn’t heard of faxing or email?
He did finally get that rent payment paid. It was sort of the sweet-and-sour-sauce with that tenant. One month, he was great and the next, lots of complaints and no rent.
I reported the final events to my business partner, who is also my sister, Ann, via texts:
Me: “Guess what? No rent today again.”
Ann: “Still nothing? Didn’t he promise?”
Me: “Yep.” Captain Obvious is my texting handle.
Ann: “Can’t you just email him and tell him to send us his kidney.”
I was typing, “I’m OK with a kidney,” when Ann answered, “No! Ack! Money. Not kidney. Money.”
I liked kidney better.
by Kathy Brasby | May 14, 2019 | Stories
This blog is getting a reboot. I’ve tried to be serious and grown up, but I gotta go back to my roots: stories.
I see the world in stories. I laugh at the goofiest things – and you might as well come along.
This morning, my sister, the artist, showed me a new set of paintings. “They’re about new life. Butterflies.”
Me, I am a big fan of cliches, as you’ll see. I said, “I don’t see any butterflies.” She had painted a green background with a round yellow area in what might have been the sky. It might have been irises for all I could tell. She’s an abstract painter.
So then I looked closer. I’m not sure if you are supposed to look closer with abstract work or step back but I was sitting at my computer so stepping back would have required getting up. Not sure it was worth all that.
“There are red splatters on the painting.” My mind flew to cliches because I’m a big fan of cliches. “Is this post-butterflies? What happened to the butterflies?” I started thinking of big predator birds which, by the way, weren’t anywhere in her paintings. Maybe they already flew away. I didn’t ask. I wanted to be a support like any good sister would.
So I asked her if butterflies were good symbols for new life.
“They’re safe,” she wrote me. Did I tell you we were texting on our computers? You may have figured that out from the not-getting-up-from-my-computer comment, but now you know for sure.
Anyway, my sister sometimes types goofy. What she actually sent me was “Sage.”
I almost asked her if butterflies smelled like sage, but she can get testy about her typing. So I just asked her if sage was helpful in creating abstract paintings.
Her exact words, and I’m not taking this up, were “You are such a help.”
So I’m on a quest today to find out how sage and butterflies and abstract skies combine into a new painting. I might even let you see her results. (Probably not mine, though.) Stay tuned.
by Kathy Brasby | Mar 5, 2019 | Bible
Leaders make decisions that are for the good of their tribe, based on clear goals. But what if those decisions land the leaders in trouble?
We’ve been following the story of Paul and Silas as they were visiting the ancient Greek city of Philippi.* Paul’s goal was to explain the story of Jesus to the people he met. His first encounter was at a prayer meeting. That went well.
Paul later met a servant girl who could tell the future. She was shouting words that were misleading people from what Paul was trying to teach, and so he commanded the spirit to leave her. That didn’t go as well.
The demon came out of the girl, but the servant girl’s masters lost their source of wealth. They were charging people for her fortunes.
Paul and Silas ended up in jail. They were severely beaten, and their feet clamped in stocks. Prisons in those days were miserable places, cold and damp.
Wouldn’t it be easy for Paul to re-examine his decision? The prayer group experience soared. Why had he tampered with the servant girl?
Locked away in a dark prison, Paul felt the bruises and the dried blood from his beating. Was that servant girl really worth this kind of torture?
Clarity of the goal always helps a leader and Paul didn’t forget why he had come to Philippi. It wasn’t for a cushy place to stay and a small group who hung on his every word. It was also for a poor servant girl who spoke words she didn’t understand. Paul had come to be sure people heard clearly the story of Jesus. This servant girl deserved to hear – not to distract others from the truth.
So Paul and Silas remained devoted to that goal. They were in prison, but that didn’t change their aim. Their audience now was other prisoners, and so they prayed and sang hymns to God – in part so the other prisoners would hear more about the nature of God.
God did amazing work that night. A massive earthquake shook the prison, and the doors flew open. Chains fell off. The jailer awoke to a shattered prison and assumed he had lost all the prisoners. That was the death penalty in the Roman empire, but Paul intervened.
“We’re all here!” he told the jailer. That’s impressive leadership in itself: the prisoners had not scooted away like cockroaches when the lights come on. They stayed with Paul.
Once again, Paul stayed focused on his goal. He wanted to tell people the story of Jesus. He wanted to explain the fantastic work of God. He was able to do that with the prayer group. And now he was able to tell a jailer about Jesus.
Talk about a transformation! The jailer listened and believed. He told his household. He cared for the prisoners and washed their wounds. He took them to his own house and gave them a meal.
Had Paul lost focus on his goal, he wouldn’t have taken the risk to free the servant girl. Had he forgotten why he came to Philippi, he could have escaped with the earthquake hit. In both cases, he took a risk.
But when the morning came, people had been changed. They found new life in Jesus.
Whether the immediate results are painful or joyful, leaders make decisions based on their goals. Even if it means time in a cold and painful dungeon.
*Acts 16
by Kathy Brasby | Feb 19, 2019 | Bible
How do you feel about offending someone? There are trolls in our society who revel in pushing other’s buttons, hoping to offend so they can enjoy the ensuing storm. But most of us avoid hurting others.
But is it ever necessary for a leader to offend?
Let’s take a look at Paul and Silas. As they traveled through cities in ancient Greece, they came to Philippi where they met a girl who had some sort of prophetic spirit.
The Ancient Greeks
The ancient Greeks regularly sought out priests for advice. Whether it involved a business decision, a marriage, or even a battle, they wanted to hear from the gods. So this girl would have found many willing to pay to hear about the future.
She began following Paul and his companions, shouting, “These men are servants of the Most High God, and they have come to tell you how to be saved.”
Most who heard that daily prophecy would assume that Paul was following Zeus or some great god. They would not have thought that Paul served God. And her words about being saved were not the Christian idea of salvation. Those hearing the girl would have assumed she was talking about rescue from a disaster or perhaps given good health or prosperity.
In other words, her daily prophecy sounds true to a Christian’s ear, but it would have misled the Greeks around her. They would have expected Paul to serve as the mediator for a great god, bringing them prosperity or other benefits.
Not Paul’s Idea
This was not what Paul was preaching, and he finally had enough. In the name of Jesus, he commanded the spirit to leave her. And it did.
Paul offended her masters. They had hopes of wealth through her prophecies – and people’s eagerness to pay for what they thought was divine guidance.
What happened next might have given Paul pause. The masters grabbed him and his friends and dragged them to the authorities in the marketplace. A riot ensued.
False charges were leveled. Emotions were whipped into a hot mess. Angry officials had Paul and Silas severely beaten and then thrown into prison.
First century jails were cold, damp, uncomfortable. Paul and Silas were taken to the inner dungeon, and their feet clamped in stocks.
So, was it worth it for Paul to offend these men?
Paul’s concerns were:
- A servant girl under the control of a spirit.
- Masters were oppressing the girl, using her oppression for their own financial gain.
- Her message caused people to misinterpret Paul’s message.
Those are good concerns. Would he have proceeded if he’d known the consequences? Of course, if you know the end of the story, God would do more in Philippi.
But for now, let’s stay with questions: is it OK for leaders to offend? Do the goals make the possible repercussions worthwhile?
These are questions leaders have to consider before diving in. What are your thoughts?
