When I was 13, I noticed that my parents got a lot of mail while I, meanwhile, got exactly none. What fun was it to pick up the mail for them when there was nothing for me, day after day after day?
Leaping into action
Not being one to sit idly and complain, I leaped into action. I had a 4-H brochure that showed places where I could send off for free resources. So I manufactured my own mail.
Before long, I received a colorful cardboard chart showing 12 different ways to tie a knot. Soon, a brochure comparing Angus and Hereford breeds of cattle arrived in the mail – addressed to me. You can see where this going.
I started getting mail.
Somewhere in that time frame, I also received a chain letter from a friend. In those days, chain letters were the rage.
A chain letter
A chain letter would appear in your mailbox with the promise and the plea. Most of them held out the lure of money “Send a dollar to the first person on the list” and in a week or so, you’ll get dollars from all the people on the list.
Sure. Junior High school Ponzi schemes.
I am a skeptic. I have always ignored chain letters. My mailbox is where they came to die of lack of love and sunlight. My Facebook Messenger, too, but that’s another story.
This chain letter intrigued me. There was no money involved. Instead, you sent a postcard to the person at the top of the list and forwarded the letter to three of your friends. In a couple of weeks, you would get postcards from hundreds of people. Somehow exponential growth came into play.
What if these actually work?
Maybe I shouldn’t be presumptuous. Had I ever tested my skepticism? Why not see if any of those chain letter schemes actually worked? Maybe I had been missing out on some great rewards.
And, I had a free postcard.
Among my manufactured mail was an advertising postcard. Imprinted in bold, glossy colors was the head of a goat with floppy ears and a massive ear tag. The company that sent me the postcard sold ear tags.
That’d work.
Yes, I did: I addressed that postcard to the girl whose name was at the top of the list. I think she lived in Washington state. Somewhere far away, fortunately.
I gave it a try
I sent the three letters on to my friends. This seemed like such an easy chain letter that maybe it would work and I would get some postcards.
It didn’t work. I got nothing out of the deal.
But to this day, I think of that poor girl in Washington who sat by her front door dreaming of mail! Of colorful postcards with striking mountain scenes or lovely flowers or peaceful ocean waves. Postcards are usually like that.
Instead, she got a postcard of a goat and its ear tag.
Let that soak in for a minute.
But there is a moral to this story: don’t send me a chain letter unless you like ear tags.
